(Written from our cruise)

Out in the ocean, we finally see land again. The sun rises from it’s slumber in a blinding, orange ball of light. It wakes me up with it’s glow, as it shows me a side of it that my mental health needs to stay light.

That warmth. That magic.

That feeling of beautiful life and possibility that comes with a new day.

That, no matter what battle was fought yesterday, you’re starting with a clean coat of armor. One with no dents or scratches, yet you know they will eventually come back.

I can surely feel some self doubt here, creeping back in to remind me of the work that lies ahead. But then my soul reminds me that I am not the one in control - I’ve never been. It’s always been just me and God. And there has never been a single thing to worry about - Unless it makes the process more enjoyable to do so.

But that really is the beauty of being out here in the vast, blue ocean.

A reminder that we truly are insignificant and always have been. To swallow our own bullshit and find a way to enjoy the process or we’ll waste it. And, to me, the purest way to enjoy this gift of life is to stay out in the ether… As far away from our comfort zone as possible.

To try and use every chance we have to connect with the world around us so we can find the missing puzzle pieces.

I think a lot of people think I’m doing something special but honestly, I‘m only trying to stay human. With everything being digital or plastic, we are losing our ability to stay flesh and bone. All we do in our society today is try to show the world how invincible we are when, to me, there’s nothing more human than to remember we’ll die someday.

It’s that fear that moves us forward into the life we can truly live.

We think too much. We feel too little.

And everyone is spending their lives trying to put on as much armor as possible.

And I’ve always just been trying to find a way to die.