Why do I do this?

I do this for myself, but for so many others that I know are struggling with feeling alone. With feeling despair. With feeling like no one is there for them and they are left to fight their battles alone.

A little more than a year ago, I went through some of the toughest months of my life. I had gone through a massive heartbreak, I was brand new to a new town (and hardly knew anybody), and then went into a very long winter time. No sunshine. Cold days. Feeling 100% alone.

After a few months of sinking deeper and deeper into this, I couldn’t go on anymore. I didn’t even know what the answer was, or what would help. I had become so disconnected and depressed that I’m not even sure I wanted to find an answer during that time… I just wanted it to end.

But I come from a very strong family. One that I am endlessly fortunate to have. And because of that, suicide was simply not an option. I had to fight through these difficult moments and find the light. That’s how I was raised to be, and how I would claw myself back to life.

But I knew I needed a crazy situation to wake me up - and give me clarity. To get me outside of my head.

So one day, I went to my friend Teavo’s house and just looked at a map of the world. I saw Europe and thought about all the different countries so close to each other. I thought about all the different cultures I could learn from, and the different type of people I could try to meet. And I thought about the TRAINS. European train travel! I could take a train to each of these countries and try to feel like a part of the world again.

That was it.

Terrified, scared and literally having no clue what I was going to do once there… Or how I was going to do it… I booked a plane ticket to Copenhagen, Denmark. I didn’t even have a place to stay until I arrived there.

I planned to do this entire trip spontaneously, so that I would need to interact and talk with people consistently. I wanted to leave my comfort zone as much as possible and ask for help when I needed it, and be there for others in those connections.

I had no idea where I was going to go after Copenhagen. Everyday with espresso, I would just look at a map and go there next.