Maybe my writings will end up in a museum.
Maybe they’ll end up in a landfill.
If history serves any marker, it’ll probably be the latter.
But that’s okay with me because, either way, this writing is how I think. How I understand. How I create.
Whatever you do with it is none of my business.
Let’s go ahead and think of creativity like a creek that is yours. A creek that gives you nourishment.
The only thing that is your responsibility is to keep the water clear, clean and flowing.
That will be removing stones and logs, trash and debris, daily, so that the water you drink from the creek gets and stays as clean as possible.
Now, no matter how good the water tastes, you don’t want to tell the whole world and sell as many tickets to it as possible. Because then people will step in it. They’ll leave trash.
They’ll make it to where you have lots of money but no water left to drink.
However, if your water is truly special and pure, you can share it freely with people that will cherish it. That need the nourishment as much as you.
That truly appreciate it.
You might not be as rich but you can have a very fulfilled life and a creek that is always flowing.
(And, with any creek, you couldn’t capture all the water even if you wanted to.
So, just dip a glass in and take a sip when needed.
The only reason we’re showing my life is because I’ve been poor for most of my life.
When you’re poor, you’re a part of the world. You’re outside. You’re in it.
You don’t have the luxury to sit inside and do nothing.
Outside, that’s where life happens and why today, it is still hard for me to be inside too much and be comfortable. I get depressed hwn I am.
So I have looked for all the free stuff you can do that makes life an adventure. Swimming in the ocea, skating in the streets, talking to strangers, listening to stories, writing. Lots and lots of writing.
The whole world out here is a movie. It’s riddled with fascinating characters that have also ‘struggled’ and have stories to tell. And the time to tell you it. It’s way more authentic - No one is trying to sell you anything and they don’t care at all ab out impresssing you. Those days are long gone. They don’t care what you’re wearing. Where you come from. What you do for a living. What race you are. How old. Who you voted for.
They don’t give a flying fuck about any of those things.
They only care how you treat them and the respect you earn, based on your actions.
You cannot ask for respect. It is only earned.
What is really cool is that the skills you learn out here are a lot of the skills you will HAVE to know to succeed in business. To lead. To guide. To navigate.
If I had to pick a negative, it would only be that it makes it harder to relate to people still in the real world. So it can get pretty lonely if you are trying to find people that understand you. People in the real world have an identity they like to back up and regurgitate their stories. They don’t have the patience, the time or the clarity to actually have a balanced conversation - Let alone actually given themselves the time to know who they are. Enough to be able to tell you.
Most people like to tell you who they are, mostly through the routine things they do, because that’s the script they know. It’s safe. It fits into the ‘rules’. They cannot be questioned too much because enough other people are doing the same thing.
But out here, people won’t even have a conversation with you if you try to give them a script. They’ll slash you to pieces and pull you apart. And, if there’s nothing in there, at best, they’ll just stop talking to you. At worst, they already know how fragile you are (They can see and feel it) so they can do anything they want.
To navigate this weird world (mostly America), you’re going to have to learn how to play these games with people’s identities. Just think, if you meta character in a video game, there’s going to be certain attributes about their character that you have to abide by. The rules are different if you meet a prince in a castle than a blacksmith in his shop. It’s a waste of time to be upset a blacksmith can’t help you get into the castle. In the real world, there’s costumes and rules to what you can wear so you don’t stick out too much or ruffle feathers. If you stick out too much, people might ask you questions - Questions you might have no clue the answer to. So it’s easier to just look like everyone else and blend in.
It’s easier to distract and numb ourselves as time just melts away. To stay asleep.
I come out here because out here, no one says ‘Can I have some of your time?’
No one stops by.
No one interrupts.
Out here, you have every tool you could ever need to inspire yourself and create.
Only you can discipline yourself.
Only you has to discipline yourself.
It’s the same reason do everything. Run marathons. Build businesses. Push ourselves. Climb mountains.
To show ourselves that we can conquer the process, for long enough to persevere.
For we know damn well there’s nothing there for us. And once we climb that mountain, there will be another one right next to it that’s taller and meaner.
That is the gift.
Knowing we’ll never see the taller mountain until we first stand on the summit of the first one.
Give thanks for the suffering.
Let me give you the blunt, brutal honesty on being a giver. On loving others with a blinding love.
There is simply no better way to live, in my opinion. It’s the most natural thing we can do - To love. To give. To believe in the goodness of others and do what we can to help the world. It is why we are here on earth. And if you have love to give, it only starves YOU to hold it all within yourself.
To love others is to have great strength. It takes confidence to love without expectations. It takes fortitude to love freely. It takes authenticity to love selflessly.
Now, thats the good news.
But there’s another part of that that’s important to know.
If you really love others, you will just never get it all back. You can’t expect to. That’s not the point. People will take it from you and give you nothing in return. They’ll feast at your table and not even offer to do the dishes. They might question your motives, even if you have none.
(And it is almost never malicious - They rarely know that they’re doing this)
They will sometimes jump to assumptions. They will come up with judgements.
If this happens, please just remember this is out of fear and has almost always has nothing to do with you.
People do interesting and strange things when they know that you truly see them, down to their core. They feel vulnerable and exposed and many times, this will be one of the rare times they have felt this. They will know they cannot hide behind an identity or a presentation so they will have to be themselves and tell the truth. And not everyone does a great job with this - Especially if they’ve been hiding for a long time.
(Many times this is because they’ve been hurt in the past and again, this has nothing to do with you).
So if you love others freely, I commend you. I respect you.
I know full well how hard and isolating it can be many times. I know how much it takes out of you and how little you get back. But I commend you because there is no higher form of genuine strength and kindness.
I promise you - It is the valiant journey. It is the one worth taking. It is the one that fills you with purpose and presence. It is the one that brings the best out of people and helps the world heal at a time when we need it more than ever.
Just do not take this journey out of an expectation of getting it back. That simply cannot be the point.
The reward is the purpose. The reward is a soul that is always full. The reward is a life without regret.
Watching the ocean through the window - Not in the sand.
Watching people from after - Not close and personal at all.
Always moving. Always a ghost.
Always wasting time.
Living in the moment is a gift but, if you don’t fulfill your responsibilities before, the moment is cloudy and your head is somewhere else during it.
You can be anywhere in the world and, if you’re overthinking, you’re not there at all.
And I haven’t been there in quite a while.
(Written on the beach in Cambria, CA)
To be out here is truly to be in the eternal. It all just makes sense here.
When we sit still and disconnect from nature, we fall apart because we are just not meant to be there.
We waste insane amounts of time. We drink and eat poorly. We busy ourselves with things that help time go by. Things that we don’t necessarily even care about.
What a disservice to the magic of life. To this one incredible opportunity we have.
To not see what we truly can become by standing on the shores of the eternal ocean or in the shadows of the mountains.
To see what awe does to wake up our soul and remind us that we are so very alive.
To feel the cold, black sand under your toes and watch the indigo sunshine wash our worries away.
So that, when we watch the sun set and the ocean recede, at least then we remember that today really does matter.
That this life truly is a gift, just to be ehere for this one moment in time.
After trips like this, I realize my issue with my creativity at home.
At home, I’m always clean. Showered with deodorant. Food in the fridge. Bed sheets laundered and made. Thermostat where I want it.
Out in the world, there’s scarcity. No fridge always full of food. Showers are not a given every day. I have to search for the comforts if I feel they’re important. All of that has to be earned and that process is really fucking important if you want to actually appreciate any of it.
At home, I don’t have to earn it. So I take it for granted and get depressed when I forget how simple joy can be. My hairs a mess. I could use a shower. But my hearts open and burning with inspiration. I wake up in the morning with no clue where I’ll sleep that night but that’s never mattered. All that matters is what I find along the way.
My life only gets easier from here. So I do what I can to sleep in the dirt and shower in experience. To see what I can create with it.
At home, I have the luxury of wasting time. Out here, no time is wasted.
It’s all a part of your story.
I like the life of a drinker. '
He wastes his time, always trying to to numb himself. Trying to think his darkest thoughts without pain.
Always around people yet always alone. His thoughts burn with emotion, haunted by the chaos of the past, to which he finds there is no fair answer.
He lost in every situation. Always an ant amongst the gods.
He drinks until his thoughts only whisper, quiet enough to at least be able to fall asleep. So that, in the morning, he might have one chance at redemption. To make redeem himself for the hell he caused to all those around him.
Thinking he will finally find his soul on the bottom of that glass. Even though he knows there is no bottom. Hell is an unforgiving pit - The guards have never had a conscience.
The drinkers are the writers. The dreamers. The poets. The romantics. The ones that burn from the black water. That remind the world that there’s more than what they might see. Or could even possibly believe.
Even though they would never possibly believe it themselves.
For, if the world is not every bit as dark to them too, they would not waste as much time trying to find the light. The one that they’ll die before they could ever see it for themself.
I’m burning.
I burn from the first sip of coffee in the morning until my last possible moment of the day. The energy that burns through me is pure. natural. I have no idea where it comes from but it’s definitely a bottomless pit.
I roll out of bed ecstatic with what unknown adventures will unfold. The world just keeps giving me every single thing I need to create my best work. Every conversation flows naturally.
Thats why I always tell people that I am nothing special.
I’m not.
Just a person that said fuck every comfort and put myself into the world. Untethered. I pushed away from shore and no one even noticed. I built my own raft, surveyed the horizon and guessed on which star to follow. I didn’t ask for permission. I didn’t look at a map. I just trusted my chaos and let it lead me into the void. I lost touch with reality and burned the instruction manual. I reported to no one but myself.
But I also face the consequences of those actions. Even though I am truly free, I am also drifting out in the ocean. I never let anyone get close enough to be able to throw me a rope if I need it.
I chose the point of no return - The one that means death at the end. Where we don’t really know if there’s a salvation just before the edge.
A safety net to make the risk make any fucking sense.
A floor to the bottomless pit.
The antidote to the venemous bite.
One thing that really breaks my heart these days is to see so many people bouncing from relationship to relationship. They get out of one and are dating the next week. Rinse and repeat. Years and years and years in a row.
I know it's not easy to be by yourself guys. I'll be honest - When you first experience those feelings of loneliness, you are going to feel a lot of discomfort. A lot of emotions. A lot of things you have been pushing down for years and years before. They can really strip you down and make you feel very, very vulnerable.
But discomfort is always just a temporary test... Because discomfort will end up being one of your best friends.
It's a natural mechanism from our brain to get us to move - Not sit still. When you allow yourself to sit in that discomfort, eventually, you'll have cried your tears and done your introspection and fought your battles. So then, you'll be so uncomfortable that you'll have to go out and do something about it. You'll start a hobby you've been thinking about, just to be around others. You'll probably form new friendships in that hobby, which will be based on something you love, so they're more connected and truer friends to you. You'll reach out to family and friends to spend time together which, in turn, deepens those relationships. You'll learn to ask for help when you need it. You'll try new things. You'll probably write, draw, hike, travel, make music... Something, anything, to find purpose within yourself.
And through all of this, you'll end up giving yourself (and the world) the gift of learning who you truly are, behind everything else.
What you truly love.
What truly gives you peace and contentment.
What makes you unique and special.
The best part of this? When you give yourself the gift of learning who you truly are, no one can ever take that from you. Ever. And that will give you a deep sense of peace that you will cherish for the rest of your life.
Then all you have do is share it. Share your heart. Share your life. Tell the truth. Love deeply and love for the right reasons.
You'll never need to give up a part of yourself to find the love you're truly looking for.
Because you'll know everyday that you already have it.
My grandmother, Beatrice, was above and beyond one of the biggest role models of my life. She is the example that allowed my mom to be the incredible human she is today. And my mom is one of the main reasons I give my heart away to as many as I can.
This process is a terrifying one because there is so much self-doubt and imposter syndrome. You are usually met with all the rejections and insecurities of others that you constantly have to navigate. And it can be very revealing to why so many people give up on their dreams far too early.
The good news is: I don’t do this for you guys. I mean, I do, but that’s not my marker if I should continue or not. My grandmother wrote me a letter before she passed that I have always kept with me, that reminds me why we’ll never stop going. In it, she said:
“Adam,
For a long time - I’ve had these thoughts about you.
You are young - vibrant - and quite talented - i.e. Your ‘Thank You’ notes are beautiful printing. Very thoughtful words and wonderful messages with meaning - So good for me to hear from you.
Your talent of writing should not be folded over on a piece of paper.
Let the world in on some of it.
I know you don’t like long, drawn out notes - So I’ll come to the point. Think bout writing a book or think about how your writing ability could be used online. Short articles to magazines, newspapers. Making up a new logo for a popular product. (Protect yourself with a patent or something of that nature).
You’ve got the ‘stuff’ to do anything so hopefully you will go for it.
Sincerely and lovingly,
Grandma
"If you stick your neck out, then the sword will come. Many, many cultures have a saying like that. The English version? "The poppy that grows higher than the rest is the first one to have it's head removed by the scythe." In Japan, 'The nail that sticks up above the rest is the first to get hit by the hammer.'
This is a non-trivial observation. Artistic, creative endeavor is high risk, which the probability of return is low.
But the probability of exceptionally high return does exist, and creative endeavor, while dangerous and unlikely to be successful, is also absolutely vital to the transformation that enables us to keep our footing.
We NEED the new, merely to maintain our position. And we need to see what we have become blinded to, by our very expertise and specialization, so that we do not lose touch with the Kingdom of God and die in our boredom, ennui, arrogance, blindness to beauty and soul-deadening cynicism.
Art is exploration. Artists train people to see.
Most people with any exposure to art now regard the work of the impressionists, for example, as both self-evidently beautiful and relatively traditional. This is in no small part because we all perceive the world now, at least in part, in the manner that only the impressionists could manage in the latter half of the nineteenth century. We cannot help doing so because the impressionist aesthetic has saturated everything: advertisements, movies, popular posters, comic books, photographs - All kinds of visual arts.
Now we all see the beauty of light that only the impressionists could once apprehend.
They taught us this.
But when the impressionists first displayed their paintings - In the Salon des Refuses of 1863 (as the traditional Paris Salon had rejected them), the pieces were met with laughter and contempt. The idea of perceiving that way (paying particular attention to light, essentially rather than form) was so radical that is caused people to have emotional fits.'
Jordan Peterson, Beyond Order
Let's go ahead and think of your creativity like a river that you have on your property. A river that you and your family rely on to live.
The only thing that is your responsibility (and within your control) is to keep the water clear, clean and flowing. That will mean removing stones, logs, trash and debris daily so that the water you drink from stays as clean as possible and keeps flowing.
You don’t control what the river does after you do these things. But you can control what flows down it and what you take out of it.
Now, no matter how good the water tastes, you don't want to make it your goal to get as many people to drink out of it as possible because people will step in it. They'll leave trash. They'll tell you how to change it to fit their own desires. They'll make it where you might have lots of money but no water left to drink.
Water you and your family need to survive.
However, if your water is truly special, you can share it freely with people that will cherish it. That need the nourishment too. That will truly appreciate it.
If you always rely on other people to tell you that your water is great for you to keep it flowing - Then you'll always be looking elsewhere for the sustenance you already have.
And it's not out there. You'll never find it there.
You might not be as rich but you can have a very fulfilled life and a river that is always flowing and teeming with life that will always benefit the direct environment all around it. And, as people drink from that river and go back into the world, they will positively impact everything around them because of it.
And, as with any river, you simply couldn't capture all the water even if you wanted to.
So just dip a glass in and take a sip when needed. And let the rest just flow past.
You want me to tell you a secret about this whole 'Chasing dreams...' thing?
It's all play. All of it. It's supposed to be.
It's a puzzle. And what most people don't realize is: You're not given all the pieces in the beginning. It's up to you to go around and find them yourself.
You'll find a new piece in new experiences. In self care. In failure. In success. In friendships and conversations. In travel. In new routines that serve you well.
In trying your best. Always in just trying.
That rejection that seemed like the worst thing in the world? What you didn't notice was that it also gave you a puzzle piece you couldn't have gotten any other way. And the next time you try and solve the puzzle, you'll have a little more information to help you do so.
Still can't figure it out? Go look for more puzzle pieces. They're out there. And the play part is: You don't know where they'll be until you go out and look for them.
I promise you one thing - The puzzle pieces will never come looking for you. They're not going to show up at your house while you're waiting for them to. And they would probably be the wrong piece even if they did.
So be a pioneer. Go out and search. And have as much fun along the way as you can. You don't have to go around the world - You can do it in your hometown, right where you're at.
And, by you going out to find more pieces of your puzzle, you inspire me to do the same. And we leave the world a little better because we did so.
We fought our battles. Persevered in the despair. Stayed true to our path and developed strength in the pursuit.
Strength that we can freely give to others.
Always chasing the light at the end of the tunnel... Knowing damn well we might never catch it.
Start solving yours today so you can help me solve mine tomorrow.
Growing up, I was always sensitive. Always soft. Always emotional.
To me, it was normal… I thought that was how people were supposed to act. I didn’t know anything different.
But then, I went to school and started trying to make friends and I quickly saw that being so sensitive was going to be a problem. All the popular kids had the ego, the braun, the aggression. I didn’t necessarily want all of that but I did want to fit in somewhere and make some friends so I tried to toughen myself up as quickly as possible. I hid my feelings. I copied their braun. I smoked weed and drank because they did. I did everything I could to hide that soft heart within.
Inside, I was a personal wreck during all of this.
None of it was me but I made all these friends by acting like it was so, now, I was surrounded by people who had no clue who I actually was.
I did this all the way through college. The only times I would feel peace within myself was when I would go on a long hike by myself or was with family, who knew who I really was. (This is a big reason I still like my alone time and to disappear into nature or on the road).
Then, one day, my whole life got flipped upside down and there was no where left to hide. I didn't know how to talk to anyone about what I was feeling.
So I just ran.
Out into the wild with no direction. But I didn’t care because, out there, at least I could fully be myself again. There was no reason to be anyone else when I would meet all these strangers. (Actually, as many of you know, I was so scared in the beginning that I wrote a script and tried to be someone else but it failed miserably. No one trusted it or felt it was genuine. So I dropped the bullshit and put my heart out there. Something I had been hiding from for most of my life.)
With this vulnerability, every single stranger had a chance to use it against me. To see me as soft and judge me for being so. To confirm these fears I had always told myself.
I lowered my shield, opened my heart and closed my eyes, waiting for the consequence.
But, when I opened them again, I saw the whole world did the same, once they saw me do it first. I opened my eyes to everyone having their shields lowered and wearing their hearts on their sleeves. And they told me, without ever actually saying the words, that they have been waiting for someone to show them it was safe to do the same.
We had real conversations. We actually connected. Instantly. We dug in deep roots. We told each other the truth.
And felt rejuvenated by knowing we could just be ourselves.
So I came back with a fierce decision to do the same with friends and family. I deleted all of the social media and decided to fearlessly put myself out there, in person, to see what kind of relationships I could grow from that. And, as I kept true to that fierce authenticity (the same thing I wanted everyone else to be with me too) something really incredible happened.
I started to build deeper friendships all around me. Friendships where, from day one, we were always able to be ourselves. To lower the shield and take the mask off. You were a man and wanted to talk about feelings? Me too. You needed to cry? The emotion would just unfold naturally. There's going to be a time when I need to do the same. I dug in deep, unshakable roots with friends all the time who truly saw me, as I truly saw them too. And those relationships became a sanctuary for both of us. A refuge from the world.
Growing up, I used to hate that I was sensitive. I did every single thing I could to try and kill this part of me. But, as I tried to kill a natural part of me, I was dying right along with it. And I was so desperate to fit in somewhere that I didn’t even notice. Until one day, the whole world was flipped upside down and I saw that no one could help because they didn’t even know who I was. These are the moments I was suicidal. It was a horrifying and lonely feeling.
I will always be thankful I gave myself one last chance to go out and find the truth. To just see what would happen if I went out into the world to be unapologetically myself.
I expected the world to criticize me, ridicule me, leave me alone again. So then, at least I could have more resolve in such a final decision.
But it didn’t. The world met me in the middle and wrapped me in it’s embrace.
21 countries. Thousands of strangers. 90% 3rd world countries. No plans. Pure spontaneity.
When you allow people to be themselves, there’s no room for the bullshit.
And that makes life a lot simpler to just be.
I hope to inspire you all to go out and do the same. The world needs your heart now, more than ever.
See you out there.
Many of you know that I love just getting in my car and going.
No direction, no clue where - Just going. I have been doing it since I was 16 years old and I first got my drivers license and spent a long, long time on the road... searching for nothing and everything at the same time. And it helped me create a life I could have never dreamed of - And you can do the same.
So I wanted to write a word for the aspiring artists out there.
The thinkers, the dreamers, the photographers and musicians, the writers. Those with something to say but have no clue how to make a life out of it.
You need to do the same. I did not become an artist because I was born with some talent that anyone else wasn't. I didn't go to school for photography. I never had any money. I saved up the money for my first camera when I was waiting tables at a restaurant.
I became an artist because I put myself in all of these aesthetic and new experiences to see what it would bring out of me.
That's it.
I put myself in as many new and interesting places as I could, with no goal in mind, just to see what it would bring out of me. I was a landscape photographer when I used to sleep in parks and on the beach. I became a portrait photographer when I got curious about cities and people. Who knows what I will evolve into next.
And I became a writer just to make sense of all these new experiences and try to grow in my thinking, as well as my personal life.
That's it. You have every single tool that I do, I promise you. Those dreams you have? They're out there. But they are not going to come to you while you're staring at a screen or busy in routines. And, even if they did, you're not going to be able to hear and make sense of them until you quiet the noise and tune in the antenna.
And what do you do when you finally found something that inspires you? Pursue it. Follow it. See what you can create with it. See what comes out of you.
There is ABSOLUTELY no right or wrong during this process. Just create what you are feeling inspired to create there.
Then let it out there for the world to see and let go of the rest. It is not your job to please the world with your art. That's not the goal and has never been. It's your job to create something unique, something pure to you, and let it out there for us all to notice.
This is the path towards a fulfilled life. Now, get out there and find it.
This is the time of the year when I hit the reset button. The time when I just get in my car with as little as possible and just go - In search of nothing and everything at the same time. No direction or destination in mind, just trusting I will end up right where I need to be.
I've always loved the road because it is the place that’s feels the most like home. A place where I can free my emotions and think. Create. Dream. Write. Grow. But, to do this, I have to leave all of my comforts and routines behind and surrender completely to the spontaneity of the world. For the road will always surprise you, if you're truly paying attention.
And you can never drive down the same road twice. You’re different every time you do, if you’re growing like you should be.
The road to me is home because it is where I first found myself. It was my sanctuary in the midst of chaos. In my early 20's, I was graduating college and going through a breakup and felt completely lost and broken. I didn't know what to do so I just ran.
No money.
No job.
No direction.
No phone.
No laptop.
Nowhere to sleep.
Nowhere to go.
Just running so I could think and figure out what the hell just happened.
I was more vulnerable than I had ever been. I had left a safe home to throw myself into the mercy of the world. I pushed off from the island I was on in search of one with more water and food.
I was absolutely terrified. I cried. I dreamt. I searched. I didn’t even know what for. But I felt somewhere inside of me that there was something I would find out there. Something I knew my heart was desperately needing.
And, it was on that journey that I got to know myself at a deeper level than ever before, that allowed me to have the life I have today.
This is the trip where I found my love for strangers. For, when I had absolutely nothing, the world humbled me and taught me that, if I needed help, I was going to have to learn to ask for it.
I resisted. I held on to my pride. But finally, I needed it so I asked. And, when I did, the world gave me everything. And I needed it more often than I’d like myself to admit.
(This is why all I want to do now is give back to the world that gave me everything first.)
I was shown, in every moment I asked, that people are there to share in your life, If you just first ask. And the thing I needed more than anything else was connection. I didn't mind sleeping in the dirt or in a grocery store parking lot - But I didn't like feeling like I was all alone out there.
Every bit as importantly, I was shown how little I truly needed to be happy. That all those comforts we always give ourselves just slow down our growth. The growth we need to always be undergoing if we’re going to make the most out of this one opportunity in life.
That we simply must develop our fortitude. Our foundation. Our clarity. So we can dream without fear.
These are the journeys that stoke the fire and illuminates the path so we can see the way forward. For, it’s out there, somewhere, and the journey there is always far better than the destination.
I remember writing, as my life started to get more comfortable after this trip:
“When I had $10 to my name and I made $10, it meant everything to me.
When I had $100 to my name and made $100, it meant everything to me.
But, when I had $1,000 and I made $1,000, it meant nothing to me.”
Be open. Try your best. Give back to the world as much as you possibly can. Not with your money but with your heart. Your hands. Your heart. Your mind. Because you need it, every bit as much as they do. And what you give today, you will always get back tomorrow... and the journey can be just a little smoother as you go.
A year from now, you'll wish you started today.
Stay searching. I’ll see you out there.
10 years ago, I was homeless. Living out of the backseat of my car, eating ramen noodles on the side of the road. No money. No job. No camera.
And it was some of the best years of my entire life.
Let me explain.
Growing up in the Midwest, I had this burning in my soul that I just had to figure out. I was dreaming of the West Coast but never really had money so, as soon as I saved up a few hundred dollars, I figured that was enough to head West. I had no real plan other than trying to make it to Los Angeles and finding a job there. When I was in Fort Collins, Colorado, I only had $300 left and I told my friend there that I was going to head back to St. Louis to save up more money. He told me 'Adam, if you go home, you already know what life will be like. But, if you head West, that is the point of no return - You won't have enough money to even make it back home. And that's where all of your life will be.'
He was right. I headed West and quickly ran out of money because of gas. I remember being in Reno, Nevada with only $32 to my name and no fall back plan. No job or way to make money.
This time in my life made everything else so simple. And taught me some of the greatest lessons I could ever ask for.
1. How little money I truly need to be content and happy. At this time, I would allow myself to spend only $5/day on everything - Gas, food, water, etc. Out of that $5, I would let myself spend $1 on an indulgence - to just have something to look forward to. I would usually get a $1 can of Dr. Pepper and, to this day, I have never found anything that tasted as good as that can of soda did. When you can find real joy in things so basic, it makes everything simple from there. Money became a tool - Nothing less, nothing more.
2. During this time, I simply HAD to ask for help from the world around me. And I can honestly say - Everyone helped, every single time. No matter where I was. It deeply ingrained in me this very real understanding that the world was full of wonderful people, happy to help if you just ask. Because of this lesson, all I have wanted to do since was give as much back to the world. Because, when I had nothing, the world gave me everything. It has completely shifted the way I talk to other travelers, homeless and the vulnerable.
I got a job on a farm and saved up $300, enough to let me make it to LA. When I got to LA, I only had $27 to my name and started from there. My sister made me a chicken quesadilla and it was the first meat I had eaten in over a month. I applied at jobs every single day until I finally got a restaurant job and saved up enough money to get my own apartment.
I'll never forget that first night, I laid on the floor for hours, just staring at the ceiling and running my hands over the carpet. I had no furniture and no bed but it didn't matter, I felt like a king because I finally had a roof over my head again.
I have never looked back once since.
I built the life I have today on the firm foundation of these very basic lessons. Success has been easy from there. Making money has been very simple from there. It's helped me notice the people that truly need help, and to be able to ask for it when I do also. It gave me the self awareness that I operate with today, allowing me to truly be myself with the relationships in my life. It taught me intuition, communication and perspective.
When you combine:
1. Knowing how little you need to be happy + money being a tool.
2. The world is there to help, if you just ask when you need it. And that there is magic in giving as much as you can.
3. Knowing that you are capable of far more than you could ever imagine. And if you just take that scary step into the void, you will see that it was all just a mirage.
Life gets pretty simple from there. Gratitude is a beautiful thing.
